1 in 4 -written for the daily evergreen-

1 in 4 Never Grow Up

For many women and their partners there are immediate hopes and dreams that come along with a positive pregnancy test. Dreams of leaving the hospital with a happy healthy baby, the growth of that baby into a child, then a teen, then a successful adult. Hopes for a bright future. For one in four of these hopeful families these dreams will never come true, they'll never bring a baby home, or those that do, some will never celebrate a first birthday with their baby. These families need our support, we need to reach out and tell them, we remember.

For as long as many in living history can remember the subject of infant death and pregnancy loss (IDPL) has been shunned and not talked about. My great grandmother never mentioned her eldest son, a baby who was stillborn in the 1930's, unless prodded when we visited the family plot where a tiny stone is covered in overgrowth with just “Baby Shaw” and a date inscribed in the marble. I would gamble that many of us have aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, cousins that we've never heard of because they are one of four lost to IDPL. Their mothers and families told to “move on” and “forget” about the baby that never grew up. Do we think they don't remember the life that never was, or was for only a flicker of time?

1988 brought a great break through for the survivors of IDPL, President Ronald Reagan became the first President to speak about the subject., “Each year, approximately a million pregnancies in the U.S. end in miscarriage, stillbirth or the death of the newborn child. National observance of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month offers us the opportunity to increase our understanding of the great tragedy involved in the deaths of unborn and newborn babies. It also enables us to consider how, as individuals and communities, we can meet the needs of bereaved parents and family members on work to prevent causes of these problems.” October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month in the US but is overshadowed by Breast Cancer Awareness. Many other countries including Canada and Australia also have days or months dedicated to IDPL, usually in October. Awareness continues to lack world wide as people believe “it could never happen to me”.

In recent years a movement has been growing around the world. This movement is called the International Wave of Light (IWL). IWL takes place on October 15^th every year, at 7pm local time. The idea behind it is to create a wave of candle light that goes around the world in remembrance of the babies who have died, and to create awareness. Miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant death effect one in four, that's not a small number.

I'm not saying that everyone who has suffered this loss is looking to be validated, or supported by complete strangers, but a general consensus of the online community that calls themselves “angel moms” agree that awareness is needed. “There's not always a happy ending at the end of a pregnancy.” says Emma S., a miscarriage mom of two with no living children.

This year I invite all WSU students, staff, families, and all of the surrounding community to light a candle, have a moment of silence, or anything you find fitting to remember the babies who have died on October 15^th at 7pm. For more information on the Wave of Light you can visit October15th.com. Let us reach out to the families who are grieving the loss of a baby, let them know we care and we remember, we recognize the one in four.