A favor for mommy

Dear Angels,

It's mommy. I wanted to ask you all a favor tonight... I'm really missing my kitty, Rissy. You know the little black kitty who came to be with you a year ago? I know you play with her and love her as much as I did when she was here. Can you give Rissy some extra special kisses and love for me?
Kylie, can you put a pretty pink bow on her for me?
James, can you throw her favorite skunk toy for her to chase for me?
Daniel, can you give her an extra special hug for me?
I got to play with a little black kitty today who looked so much like Rissy today and it kind of made me sad.
Thank you for helping mommy out!
I love you each so much and miss you so much. I'm sending you all so many kisses right now.

Love

Mommy

Happy 2nd Birthday, Daniel

In honor of Daniel's second birthday I bought him a special monkey and a card from Mommy and Daddy.

After D returns home we'll be going to see Cars 2 in honor of Daniel's birthday.
I feel horrible for celebrating his birthday late, but I feel that it would be much more special if Daniel's Daddy and I were together.


Dear Daniel,

Happy birthday sweet boy. I hope you are having a wonderful birthday in heaven, and that you are getting lots of cake and kisses from our family up there with you.
Don't forget how much Mommy and Daddy love you, and share some cake with your brother and sister.
I love you so much baby boy.

Love

Mommy

Surprise from an Angel

This morning I was awoken with the most wonderful surprise!

Flowers! A most beautiful pink and white bouquet!
With a beautiful note:

It was wonderful to get this surprise the day before Daniel's angel day.
I couldn't be happier.

4 more days...

Daniel's birthday is approaching faster than I'd like to believe.
My loneliness is become a heavier burden and the fact that I have to work on his day is breaking my heart.
I don't want the minutes to keep ticking by. I want it to stop and stand still until I have have Dave back here with me.
I can't do this alone...

5 days

There are 5 days left until Daniel's second "birthday". I know most parents use "angelversary" but I don't want to... it was the day he left my body and was "born" so its his birthday.
The lead up to his day is always so much worse than the actual day.
This year I'm completely alone this week and on his day. Well, alone in the sense of people who know about him, and those who are physically with me.
Dave is on the west side of the state, my friends have all left town for the summer, and those who are still here aren't close enough friends to know about my angels yet.
I do have to work on Sunday... I'm not sure how I'll handle it. I'm going to do my very best, and I'm not going to cry. Well no guarantees on the tears but I'm going to damn well try!
Part of me wants to tell my friend Saber about Daniel... but I don't want to scare her away either. Its hard to share my angels with other people.
The lead up to anniversaries are always so much worse than the actual day. Always.
I keep trying to tell myself its all going to be okay, and that I will get through this, but honestly right now I just want to die....