6 years of pain, growth, and love

Every year I try to write a small post about my friend's little girl, Lily. 

She's been an inspiration to so many. 

This tiny girl, gone in the blink of an eye. 

Women on both sides of the world have been impacted by her short but meaningful time.

Her mother has dealt with unbelievable heartbreak and grown from a scared girl to an empowered woman. 

I love this woman, she has helped me more than I can ever say.

Lily,

You are amazing, and what you've done for this world is beyond comprehension.

I love you. Your mommy loves you.

Thank you.

-K

Time flies and Tears fall

Its been over a year since we had our most recent loss. I didn't post on the date because I was traveling, and had no access to a computer.

No one said anything.

That's okay though. I tried to not make this loss a big deal, and to limit its impact on my life. This was a pregnancy I didn't know existed until it was gone.

Tonight, today, I feel horrible. Physically, emotionally... I feel bad.

I'm not sure if it is the fact that I'm not on my usual hormone balancing drugs, or if I'm feeling guilt for not being more affected by the date that has come and gone.

The guilt I feel for not referring to my last loss by the name I gave her "Lilla" is almost crippling right now...
I'm going to go shower and cry.