Its ok

Sometimes I hear moms of multiple angels talk about the guilt they feel for having more of an attachment to one angel than the others.
You know what?

Its ok.

Seriously. My pregnancy with Daniel was much more emotional and painful for me than my pregnancy with twins. Maybe because of my age, or maybe my awareness of the situation. Either way, I can say my connection is stronger with Daniel.

Does this make me a bad angel mom? No.

The connection is not equivalent to love.
I love each of my angels in their own very special way. None are loved more than the others.

Its ok if you feel more connected to the baby you held than the baby you lost before 12 weeks. You love them equally and in their own special ways.

The last thing an angel mom needs is more guilt.

Bittersweet, but beautiful

If I had the choice to never know the women I know as angel moms, I would take it in a heart beat. To keep all of these beautiful women from knowing the incredible pain that is losing a child is beyond a price tag. None of these women, nor any woman deserves this pain.
But once we look beyond the paralyzing pain, broken hearts, sleepless nights, and countless tears, there is something beautiful. The connections we make. Unbreakable, beautiful connections.
We become so intertwined in each others lives that an event, a moment, not a even a day goes by without contact.
We share our suffering and our joys.
We are each other's support.
We are connected by the children we have lost.

There are few people in my life that I love the way I love the angel moms in my life.

Today is a rough day for one angel mom in my life. Today is the anniversary of her daughter's birth, and flight to heaven.
2 years ago today a perfect tiny angel fell asleep forever.
You are so loved little Karly.
Beautiful.
Thank you for letting me find your mommy. She means so much to me.

Happy birthday precious angel.

A new way to post

I just found a blogger app for my new phone. Hopefully this will give me the ability to post more often. As of now I have little time to actually post since the computer is inconvenient to get to during the day and I'm usually too tired to post at night.

On another positive note- I'm still doing better. Every day is a little easier than the one before. Dates such as Daniel's edd get easier with time. Not a single day goes by where I don't think of my loves, but the tears and pain have ebbed a little more.