The new year has come and 2010 rings bright and new.
Generally, I use the new year to say "Ok I'm starting fresh and this is my year to do my thing."
This year I couldn't do it.
This year I cried at midnight because Daniel was not safe and warm inside my womb, but instead an angel in Heaven.
I cried, because come his due date in February I will not be able to hold him tight and welcome him into the world as I should be able to.
This year should bring the ability to start fresh and take things one step at a time as the new decade dawns on this world and my life.
My 20th birthday rings in, in less than 24 hours and here I sit with three angels in Heaven and not even two decades old.
Had everything worked as they should I would be playing with my twin toddlers as their little brother grew inside me.
David put it so perfectly:
"I wonder how things would have been. Not better. Not worse. Just different"
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