As of today my period is 13 days late.
As of a few hours ago I am not pregnant.
I got so excited that my period had not shown up. Slowly I had let my hopes climb. While doing baby shower shopping today I let myself dream.
A few hours later my heart got stomped on as I got the blood results back: Not Pregnant
Fuck.
Why do I even let myself hope?
And on top of that, D has decided that maybe we aren't ready to start trying... this "scare" has literally scared him into wondering if we can actually do this and provide for a child. Fair enough, I just wish he had been more honest with me to begin with.
Fuck it.
I don't want to go through this feeling again. I'm gonna give the okay to have my ovaries taken out... protect myself from cancer.
As of a few hours ago I am not pregnant.
I got so excited that my period had not shown up. Slowly I had let my hopes climb. While doing baby shower shopping today I let myself dream.
A few hours later my heart got stomped on as I got the blood results back: Not Pregnant
Fuck.
Why do I even let myself hope?
And on top of that, D has decided that maybe we aren't ready to start trying... this "scare" has literally scared him into wondering if we can actually do this and provide for a child. Fair enough, I just wish he had been more honest with me to begin with.
Fuck it.
I don't want to go through this feeling again. I'm gonna give the okay to have my ovaries taken out... protect myself from cancer.
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