5 Years

It has been 5 years and 1 day since the bleeding started and we lost the first of the two babies in my womb.
I would have written yesterday, but being the day after Thanksgiving, Apple Cup, and with family in town I ran out of hours in the day.
Today, I struggle to write this. After 5 years you'd think this would be a breeze.
Life does get easier after loss, especially after 5 years.
5 years ago I thought my life was over before it had really begun.
Who knew that young women, not even out of their teens could have miscarriages?
I didn't, but now I do.
Its a little bit shocking to be 5 years out from my first loss.
Its been a lot harder to cope with than I had predicted. I've caught myself if tears multiple times, but have been able to suck it up when needed.

James, 

My darling, I can't believe its been 5 years... where has time gone? 

I love and miss you so very, very much.

Daddy and I thought about you all day yesterday, but didn't get to celebrate your time with us until today. We went down to the local cupcake shop and bought a cupcake for each of us and enjoyed them for dessert. You would have loved them. 

I hope you haven't forgotten how much I love you, and how much you mean to me. You'll always be Mommy's special boy. 

I love you.

Love,

Mommy

Birthday cupcakes!
Red velvet with WSU chocolate (in honor of Apple Cup)
and Chocolate Cheesecake
by Sweet Mutiny