I'm off my birth control this month due to illness and its wreaking havoc on me.
As of recent I have prided myself on no longer grieving in to the extent that I once had. My life had moved in a positive direction and I didn't feel sad anymore, well kind of. Sometimes I'm sad, but I'm usually not hopeless.
Today I feel hopeless, listless, I don't even want to live honestly.
There is so much in my future that is positive and great, I'm getting married and I'm graduating in the next year, and I have so much ahead of me.
Yet I don't care right now. None of it is worth it.
I should be about 7 and a half months pregnant right now if I hadn't suffered a blighted ovum in August. I was really proud of myself when I realized I hadn't thought about it at all until today. And then I was upset that I thought about it.
There's nothing I want more in life than to have a family and every time the chance presents itself it's violently ripped away.
All the sadness is rushing back.
As of recent I have prided myself on no longer grieving in to the extent that I once had. My life had moved in a positive direction and I didn't feel sad anymore, well kind of. Sometimes I'm sad, but I'm usually not hopeless.
Today I feel hopeless, listless, I don't even want to live honestly.
There is so much in my future that is positive and great, I'm getting married and I'm graduating in the next year, and I have so much ahead of me.
Yet I don't care right now. None of it is worth it.
I should be about 7 and a half months pregnant right now if I hadn't suffered a blighted ovum in August. I was really proud of myself when I realized I hadn't thought about it at all until today. And then I was upset that I thought about it.
There's nothing I want more in life than to have a family and every time the chance presents itself it's violently ripped away.
All the sadness is rushing back.
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