Babies Galore!

I haven't posted in awhile. I've been doing better recently now that the holidays are over and spring is here.

The last few months have come with many many pregnancy announcements from friends. I couldn't be happier for them! Some of our friends are welcoming their first, and others are welcoming their second. It's amazing to watch friends who weren't even thinking about kids during our pregnancy start their families. Our friends group has been so lucky to not have any losses and I'm so thankful for that. Somehow we are the only ones in our group to have bad luck. I guess I'm glad its me and not someone else. I'd never wish that pain on anyone.

With new babies the urge to join in with my friends rears its head. We've pretty much decided that Natalia will be an only child, but theres some deep biological urge that wants me to give in and have another baby. I'm really not interested in going through pregnancy again, but at the same time sometimes I miss it. I miss the closeness. And lets be honest, the attention from family and friends was kind of fun too! I really do miss having a child under one also- not that having a toddler isn't amazing. Its just different than having a baby in the house.

We probably wont have another baby. I don't know how I would handle a loss while also having to be a mother to Natalia. It probably wouldn't go well at all. That's enough to scare me away from wanting to try.

Emotions and biologic urges are confusing!