Yesterday, my sister-in-law announced she's having a baby boy. I'm so excited to be an aunt! It's been hard to stop myself buying up all the adorable little boy clothes I see! If anyone is fit, capable, and deserving of being a mother, it is my sister-in-law. She's has so much trouble conceiving and now she's being given a beautiful little boy!
A coworker gave birth to her healthy and very happy little boy two days ago. He's absolutely precious and beautiful. I'm so happy for her and her husband!
And then there's the heart shattering, body numbing, pain.
What about my little boy?
What about Daniel?
My little boy, who isn't here. Who never even got a chance. Who never got to kick inside me, let alone smile up at his daddy.
I feel myself falling as I've stumbled into a hole. I'm so happy for my friends and family who have been given the chance at families and are happy.
Envious that I don't get to experience that...
Sad that my little boy will never grow...
Angry that I'm not sure I'll even get the chance...
I've sat here crying for hours... I have no more tears...
I thought this phase was over...
A coworker gave birth to her healthy and very happy little boy two days ago. He's absolutely precious and beautiful. I'm so happy for her and her husband!
And then there's the heart shattering, body numbing, pain.
What about my little boy?
What about Daniel?
My little boy, who isn't here. Who never even got a chance. Who never got to kick inside me, let alone smile up at his daddy.
I feel myself falling as I've stumbled into a hole. I'm so happy for my friends and family who have been given the chance at families and are happy.
Envious that I don't get to experience that...
Sad that my little boy will never grow...
Angry that I'm not sure I'll even get the chance...
I've sat here crying for hours... I have no more tears...
I thought this phase was over...
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