Its been over a year since we had our most recent loss. I didn't post on the date because I was traveling, and had no access to a computer.
No one said anything.
That's okay though. I tried to not make this loss a big deal, and to limit its impact on my life. This was a pregnancy I didn't know existed until it was gone.
Tonight, today, I feel horrible. Physically, emotionally... I feel bad.
I'm not sure if it is the fact that I'm not on my usual hormone balancing drugs, or if I'm feeling guilt for not being more affected by the date that has come and gone.
The guilt I feel for not referring to my last loss by the name I gave her "Lilla" is almost crippling right now...
I'm going to go shower and cry.
No one said anything.
That's okay though. I tried to not make this loss a big deal, and to limit its impact on my life. This was a pregnancy I didn't know existed until it was gone.
Tonight, today, I feel horrible. Physically, emotionally... I feel bad.
I'm not sure if it is the fact that I'm not on my usual hormone balancing drugs, or if I'm feeling guilt for not being more affected by the date that has come and gone.
The guilt I feel for not referring to my last loss by the name I gave her "Lilla" is almost crippling right now...
I'm going to go shower and cry.
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