I took the Christmas season to focus on my relationship with my mom and to essentially hide from my grief.
While my relationship with my mom is stronger than ever, my grief progress has come to a halt.
Right now I feel empty. Neither sad nor happy- just surviving. I don't think my grief will go any way until I either get pregnant or give up. I'm not ready for either of those options yet. For now I'll be happy with "surviving" if that's what you can call it.
On a positive note, I now have two new focuses in my life- my wedding and my schooling. Previously, they were important but now my focus is renewed. I bought my new wedding dress and plans are seriously in the works for our June 2014 (yes, 2 and a half years from now) wedding in Hawaii.
Hopefully, these new focuses and D's strong presence will help me with this emptiness I feel.
While my relationship with my mom is stronger than ever, my grief progress has come to a halt.
Right now I feel empty. Neither sad nor happy- just surviving. I don't think my grief will go any way until I either get pregnant or give up. I'm not ready for either of those options yet. For now I'll be happy with "surviving" if that's what you can call it.
On a positive note, I now have two new focuses in my life- my wedding and my schooling. Previously, they were important but now my focus is renewed. I bought my new wedding dress and plans are seriously in the works for our June 2014 (yes, 2 and a half years from now) wedding in Hawaii.
Hopefully, these new focuses and D's strong presence will help me with this emptiness I feel.
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