It dawned upon me earlier that next week will be my James' 4th birthday...
And a week later is Kylie's 4th birthday.
I immediately seized up, ready for the flood of emotions.
Instead I felt relief.
Relief that after 4 years I feel okay.
Not a day goes by that I don't think about each of my little loves, but the days of unending sadness seem to have passed. An occasional moment of sadness might strike me, but rarely do I find myself wishing to just die.
This year we will be celebrating our oldest sons life with cupcakes and a movie at home. Just D and me.
For our little girl's birthday I'll be attending the Nutcracker ballet, just her tiny ashes, and me. Just like we attended Cinderella last year. Every little girl should get to go to the ballet...
A tear may be shed, but the pain has ebbed.
Its a sign that I'm healing. Slowly, but surely. I'm healing.
And a week later is Kylie's 4th birthday.
I immediately seized up, ready for the flood of emotions.
Instead I felt relief.
Relief that after 4 years I feel okay.
Not a day goes by that I don't think about each of my little loves, but the days of unending sadness seem to have passed. An occasional moment of sadness might strike me, but rarely do I find myself wishing to just die.
This year we will be celebrating our oldest sons life with cupcakes and a movie at home. Just D and me.
For our little girl's birthday I'll be attending the Nutcracker ballet, just her tiny ashes, and me. Just like we attended Cinderella last year. Every little girl should get to go to the ballet...
A tear may be shed, but the pain has ebbed.
Its a sign that I'm healing. Slowly, but surely. I'm healing.
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