Subconscious

It's amazing how something you tell your self doesn't bother you and isn't worthy of your attention can be gnawing away at you for months before it makes itself clearly present.

As a dedicated citizen of the community I live in (wow way to make myself sound important...) I am a volunteer girl scout leader to a local brownie troop since none of the parent's would step up. Tells you a lot about my troop eh? Anyways, the comment is often made "You aren't a mom, you wouldn't understand"

Now, I reasoned that they were slightly right since I had not had a child grow to be a second grader. I was not blessed with that thus far in my life. I will be someday but not today. I also reasoned that they were oblivious to my situation and I couldn't be mad with people who didn't understand.

Tonight, I snapped. I was accused of some ridiculous things by my co-leader, and it really shouldn't have gotten to me. I'm bigger than that and much more mature than that. I had to sit myself down and ask, what's causing me to get so worked up? Really?

Then I realized... as much as David and others validated me for being a mom in my own special way these women were cutting me down. Even if I didn't consciously believe it, my subconscious was feeling it and wearing away.

I am a mother. A very special mother. A mother to angels.